


Shopping

by sadieHD



Series: Rossi's Camera Roll [3]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, Family, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 07:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12103941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieHD/pseuds/sadieHD
Summary: Anonymous: Hey! I heard you were taking submissions for the Rossi’s Camera roll… could you do this picture? I know it’s not really a cm cast photo, but maybe a team outing or something and Hotch looks nice? I don’t know, sorry if this is weird.





	Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> [here's the reference pic](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/83/99/5f/83995f604a459b4ec678ece05620f388--love-status-thomas-gibson.jpg)

Aaron Hotchner was an idiot. He thought it was a good idea at first. After all, he needed new clothes, and Derek was insistent that he’d be able to find the Unit Chief some new suits to spice up his wardrobe. And, of course, where Derek goes, Penelope is never far behind. Upon hearing about the pair of profiler’s shopping trip, she clapped her hands in delight and demanded to be brought along, promising to keep her choices conservative. Er, as conservative as they could get with Penelope Garcia.

What he didn’t count on was the bubbly tech analyst bringing along Emily Prentiss, who entered the department store with a glint in her eye that scared the man more than he’d care to admit. Derek had the grace to give Hotch an embarrassed glance, but soon joined in the whirlwind of the two women as the three of them tore through the store, eagerly seeking out something fashionable for their leader to wear like crazed hounds smelling blood in the air.

They spent about twenty minutes of an eternity seemingly mesmerized by their glorious opportunity, not really sparing their Unit Chief a second glass. Hotch hadn’t appreciated the blessing until it was over. Derek and Emily were both admiring a suit and arguing about sizing (“He’s not that tall.” “He’s taller than Reid!”) when Penelope turned to their leader, who had never felt so small under her gaze.

“Oh my goodness! Why, we nearly forgot the reason we were here!” she cried, tugging on his arm.

“Perfect!” Derek’s hands danced around a very startled Hotch’s waist as he tried to get a feel for his measurements. “Holy shit, he is taller than Reid.”

“Come on, Derek. We should probably get an actual measuring tape,” Emily rolled her eyes and flagged down one of the workers.

Despite being suddenly aware of Hotch’s presence, for some reason they seemed incapable of speaking directly to him. Whether or not he should grateful for it, Hotch wasn’t sure. Either way, he certainly wasn’t about to draw more attention to himself. He raised his arms and turned around as Derek and Emily checked his sizes, feeling somewhat like a circus animal as he imagined himself dancing for their entertainment. When they finally confirmed his measurements, he sighed with relief, thankful their tirade seemed to be over. Oh, how wrong he was.

Penelope had found the previously selected suits in Hotch’s size, shoving the armful of distressingly expensive cloth to Hotch as Derek waltzed him over the the fitting rooms, Penelope and Emily patiently waiting outside.

Hotch barely had time to register what was happening before his agent had him stripped down to a tee shirt and his underwear. He didn’t even have time to be properly embarrassed. He was torn between impressed and afraid at how quickly Derek dressed him, butting his shirt at an alarming speed and pulling on the jacket. With a final brush to make sure the Unit Chief was presentable, Derek all but shoved Hotch out the door.

Hotch barely hadn’t had time to catch his breath in about half an hour, but he somehow managed to keep from stumbling. At last he was given a moment free of his coworker’s hands as he was allowed to look at himself in front of the mirror. For the time being, their assault had ended.

He let out a low whistle. The suit was way more flattering than he could’ve imagined. He’d gone to fittings before to pick out fancier suits for some political briefings, but even his most expensive suit didn’t fit him this well. He turned to the mischievous trio, each one smiling grandiosely.

Penelope beamed. “You like?”

It was the first question directed towards him. Hotch allowed himself to grin and he nodded.

She clapped and suddenly the world started moving again. Emily handed off another suit to Derek as he whisked Hotch into the changing room before returning to Penelope, whispering conspiratorially about appropriate colors and materials. Hotch had never tried on so many suits in his life. No longer was he allowed peace in front of the mirror. Derek and Penelope ran their hands over the fitted clothing, pulling slightly or straightening out the wrinkles and commenting on the fit.

“No, this one’s too short. You can see three inches of his socks!”

“This isn’t a good color. It doesn’t work with his eyes.”

“Do you think this kind of cloth would get damaged when he chases down suspects? We need something durable!”

“Definitely not.”

“Oh, this one’s perfect! I can totally see him intimidating a sociopath in this one.”

“I can’t believe this doesn’t come in onyx. Unbelievable!”

“We can’t get him this! He never wears patterns.”

“Hmm. The ghost white doesn’t go with the suit. Can you get the white smoke shirt with this one?”

Hotch hadn’t even noticed Emily’s absence until she came back, her arms practically overflowing with items that were distinctly not suit related. “What?” she defended, holding up a pair of jeans. “He only has one pair of pants that aren’t slacks. And he only has like three college t-shirts. Besides, everything was on sale.” She looked directly at Hotch, seeking approval. “You need something to wear besides suits.”

He raised an eyebrow. What for?

She rolled her eyes. “To wear on the one day per decade you take a day off work. Live a little.”

Penelope and Derek, who each still had a hand on one of his arms, looked at him excitedly, silently willing him to agree. The Unit Chief found himself struggling to argue with the grinning pair. Then Emily pouted. She actually pouted.

Hotch sighed the long-suffering sigh of the damned. “Alright,” he relented, regretting his decision before he even made it. Penelope squealed and rushed to help Emily pick out what their lovingly indulgent leader would grudgingly try on next. After much deliberation, Emily finally pulled out a leather jacket. By Emily standards, it was surprisingly plain. He silently thanked her for bearing his simple tastes in mind as he was dragged off by Derek to try it on.

In the dressing room, Derek took a step back (as far as one could “step back” in a changing room) and admired his handiwork. “Damn. That woman sure knows how to pick out a jacket.” He chuckled as he walked Hotch out. “Maybe I should go shopping with her next if it’s going to make me look like this.”

Penelope gasped, clutching her heart and leaning on her companion, feigning illness. Emily smirked and bit her lip as she crossed her arms, proud of her selection. “What do you think?”

Hotch refrained from rolling his eyes as he tugged somewhat nervously on the jacket. He wasn’t exactly a fan of attention, but the jacket was comfortable…

After a few more rounds of trying on more casual clothes at Penelope’s insistence, it appeared their adventure in the department store was coming to a close. Hotch watched nervously as the numbers at the cashier’s register climbed increasingly higher, hesitantly pulling out his wallet.

Penelope grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “Ah, ah,” she said, clutching her own vibrantly colored wallet. “We’re the ones who dragged you out here in the first place.”

Hotch grimaced and shot a look at the alarmingly high total. It’d certainly leave a dent, but it’s not like Hotch spent a lot of money anyways. Penelope loved buying little knick-knacks for her office and impulsively getting gifts for the team. This would be a considerable chunk of her spending money, if it didn’t deplete it entirely. It was more steep of a price for a gift than Hotch was entirely comfortable with. He reached for his wallet again.

Penelope wagged her finger as she took out a surprisingly dull-colored credit card. “Ah, ah,” she scolded, handing the card to the cashier, who seemed amused by the transaction.

Hotch winced. “I couldn’t possibly…”

“Checkit,” she grinned, showing him the card. Hotch read the name printed in tiny silver letters: David S Rossi. Penelope giggled at her boss’s quizzically raised eyebrow. “Relax,” she laughed. “I traded it for a photo. I’m sure he agrees it was definitely worth it.”

**Author's Note:**

> to be honest, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I opened submissions, but this just goes to say that inspiration can come from anywhere


End file.
